GPS – Nah, Prefer Autowalas

Whether you are on a hangout with friends, or you have to reach an institution to deliver a lecture or attend a meeting, the directions given by an Autowala are much more precise and accurate than what your Navigator would ever show on your smartphone. It is like the whole map of Delhi is inscribed in their minds. What adds to this interesting fact is that the autowalas will even tell you the amount of traffic to be observed at what time of the day. Especially in the areas like Connaught place, where there are endless roundabouts and exits, I prefer trusting autowalas. “Itne Hi Lagte Hai Sahab” The way you dress up and the way you talk while confronting an Autowala decides how much fare you are going to pay to reach your destination. They can study you in a jiffy by just looking at you. In an ordinary world, this fare biasing is wrong but in technical terms this is what is business planning is. They are smart. Never under-estimate them. “Meter Kharab Hai Bhaiya” Well, this is the pickup line that autowalas generally use in Delhi. Consider yourself the luckiest man/woman alive if you find a autowala ready to turn meter down and start your ride. Reason behind this is still a secret. “Khulle Nahi Hai Sahab” Delhi Autowalas never ever carry change with them. Even if they do, it is hidden deep inside their pockets; they do not like to take it out. Actually this is a good business strategy. People in metro cities are usually in a hurry. Hence they prefer leaving those additional 4-5 Rs.  Hurray, Extra income earned. :D “Hume unse zayada pata hai” Well, among the autowala community, some claim to be more knowledgeable and close to god than saints and priests. Beware of them. They will brief your about politics, fashion, etiquettes and traffic rules and everything that you are not interested to hear. And by doing this, they would only bore the hell out of you. So, just let them speak their heart out and do not ever engage in an unwanted conversation with them. Technology And Comfort Even if they are coy on their pockets, even if they sometimes find difficult to meet up square meals a day but no matter what, they will always remain updated about the cricket scores, election polls etc. and to receive all these updates they usually have a FM Radio fitted in their Auto’s. Along with this, autowala in Delhi never overlook their comfort. They are properly dressed with one leg hanging out of the auto for fresh air and second interesting thing you would find below them would be a Pillow for the comfort of their ass. The EPIC Playlist Those who reside in Delhi are well aware of this fact that an autowala has the playlist that includes almost all sad songs recorded till date. All epic sad songs that make you irritate while travelling give kick to these Autowalas and I still wonder how does this happen? One of their all time favorite is:-     “Humko Ranaji Maaf Karna, Galti Maahre Se Ho Gayi” :D :D “BoyFriend ke Saath Baith Kar Bhaiya Kehna Mana Hai” This one is the most hilarious one. Like every other person, Autowalas in Delhi hate being designated as “Bhaiya”. They cannot show it but yes they hate it. Especially when a beautiful girl is sitting behind with her boyfriend and she instantly says : “Bhaiya, Aaagey Se Right”. Don’t belive me? Check out the proof.