How much ever the society modernizes, this fact will not change that every time in a relationship, it is the girl who has to compromise the maximum times. When you get married, you do not get married just to the man, in fact, you get married to the whole family, and hence you go to their home to stay in.
A very common thing that is seen in every house is the rift between the mother in law and the daughter in law. It is not that all houses face such situations. Also, there are some houses where there is peace but here also the daughter in law has to be understanding in creating peace. Whatever may be the situation, it is always difficult for one woman to adjust with another until and unless she is your mother, sister or daughter.
If you have landed yourself in such a situation where you are not able to cope up with your mother in law, then here are some suggestions that can help you in getting friendly with her.
Know about her hobbies
The very first and easy thing that you can do is to find what the favorite hobbies of your mother-in-law are. Suppose, if she loves to cook, you also add your interest in cooking. Start experimenting different recipes with her and ask every time different questions making her feel that you are learning things from her. Sit together in front of the television at leisure time to see some cookery programs. If she has some other hobbies also, such as of stitching, then you can show an equal amount of interest in it. If you don’t know stitching, then have some patience and slowly learn from her. She may scold you at times when you go wrong, but this will altogether strengthen the bond between you two. Search out for any workshop going on in the city for stitching, and go with her to spend some more quality time.
Ask to tell a story
There are a number of times when your mother in law will compare you with some of her incidents when she was young. In place of getting irritated or angry, rather get interested in knowing her story. If you know about the past of a person, you can very easily know how the person is. Whenever you get chance or option, ask her to tell you a story about her past times. You will be amazed to see how she gets boosted up when you ask her about her stories, and she will tell you different things with great interest. If she is a working lady, then of course you have a number of things to ask such as how her office is, about her colleagues and many others.
A person cannot change suddenly. Do not forget that she is much elder to you and now changing her habits or behaviors is just like moving a mountain. When you face such a comment from her that is annoying, simply avoid it. If you do not carry out the argument, she will not have anything to say further, and the situation of a fight will not arise. Adapt silence in your life and you will see that there is a lot of peace in between the relationships. Of course, silence does not mean supporting the wrong things. But in place of arguing over it, try out some other ways to deal with it.
Go out together
Now this can be the best thing to impress your mother in law. At least once a week, plan out a small trip with your mother in law and take her at some of her favorite places. You both can go to movies to watch a movie of her favorite actors, or eat her favorite cuisine at a restaurant. Also, you can go shopping so that you can know her and her taste more and more. Initially, you may have to think carefully about the places where you can go out with her, but later on when you are quite friendly with each other, you can explore a number of things together. This will make your bond stronger each day.
Ask about your husband
When you get married, a maximum of the mother in laws have this misconception that you have controlled her son. This is the main reason why jealousy creeps up, and she starts behaving rudely to you. The best way to crack this problem out is to ask about your husband from her. Maybe your husband is too close to you, and you know almost all the things about him, but still ask about various things again from your mother in law. Ask her about his childhood days, about his favorites and others. This makes her feel that until today she is the only one who knows her son the best.
Well! This point has been already discussed to some extent before also. Keep silence, when you think things are going to some other direction. This will help in stopping a big argument that can lead to a fight. But there are a number of times when staying silent can lead to a cold war. If you think that such a situation is going to happen, then take some time and then change your mood and start being normal to her. If you start behaving normal, she will automatically get back to her normal mood.
Ask her to help you
Do not forget that what you call your home now; she was the only princess of that particular house before you entered. So, she may feel insecure a bit if you handle everything so easily and comfortably all alone. Maybe you are great at doing so, but if you show her that you require a bit of help, it will make her really happy. Whether it is for some home tasks or relationship between you and your husband or some other matter, asking help from her, will make her happy and at the same time the distance between you two will start disappearing.
Adjustment is the final thing
You cannot deny the fact that she is the mother of your husband, elder to you and an important part of your life. Thus, it is important that you understand her and give her the opportunity to understand you too.
Each year a number of divorces take place because the daughter-in-laws are not able to adjust with the mother-in-laws. Though the above points can help the daughter in laws to get adjusted with the mother in laws but also it is important for the mother in laws to understand a bit.